At the Water's Edge

Showing posts with label Bible. Show all posts

June 16, 2017 marks our ten year wedding anniversary. Crazy. A whole decade of life, lived together. It hasn't always been easy, but it has always been worth it. There is something about two imperfect people coming together and committing the rest of their lives to one another that is at once beautiful and a recipe for disaster and conflict. It's a romantic thought: spending the rest of your days together. But the reality is that two people trying to merge their lives together is difficult. I I've been a conflict avoider my whole life, and so has Tom. So, it's not surprising that we brought those patterns into our marriage. Avoiding conflict may make for the sort of relationship that looks great on the outside, but it means we aren't dealing the inevitable differences, disappointments or failures. Over the years, we have learned the hard way that not having those conversations that *gasp* might lead to conflict, may only create greater issues down the road. Having the hard and uncomfortable conversations is what allows two lives to merge into one and creates the path for open communication so that we can truly do life together. Quality conversation, and yes, even conflict, can help each of us to become better people.

I want this to be a picture of our marriage. We rub off on one another, and, even when we clash, if we are constructive in our conversations, we can help shape one another into better people. I am a better person for having met Tom and for having lived with him for the past 10 years. Learning to see things from his perspective and to understand another's point of view has helped me to be more open-minded, accepting and supportive of other people -- even in disagreements. Our commitment to working through any challenges that come our way means that we've learned better communication skills that can also serve to deepen friendships, strengthen family relationships and even add value to our professional roles.

I see our marriage as an ongoing process of learning how to do life together and learning how to do it well. I had a conversation with a younger, unmarried friend recently who made a comment about finding a way to keep a marriage the way it is at the beginning. I understand what she meant -- keeping that romance alive, which is important. But, I told her that, actually, I didn't wish that we could remain in that first year of marriage. Not that it was bad -- some people claim the first year of marriage is the hardest, but that wasn't true for us. However, we were still young and in many ways immature and even naive about what it takes to build and maintain a good marriage. I don't want to be stuck in that first year, because we have grown and matured so much since then. Instead of capturing that feeling of a new marriage, my goal is to continue to build a better and stronger marriage, so that each year is better than the last. I'm so grateful for the lessons that we've learned and for the love that we've allowed to grow and deepen over the years.

We have been blessed to have a lot of really wonderful times in the past decade, with lots of fun shared together. God has also been faithful in bringing us through the challenging times and helping us to use those challenges as opportunities to deepen our relationship and grow in our character and love for one another. Whatever life may bring, I am grateful to have Tom by my side, through it all. There's no one else I'd rather share the adventure of life with, and I hope for many wonderful decades of marriage yet to come!

Happy Anniversary!

I love Christmas time. I love the decorations: trees, lights, poinsettias, wreaths; the sounds: bells, Christmas music, joyful commotion at family gatherings; the smells -- fresh pine, peppermint and cloves -- mmm, so good! I love how so many people take the time to place some extra emphasis on joy and giving during this season. I even love the snow this time of year (which is conspicuously missing in Michigan right now...). I want to take a moment, though, to focus on Christmas lights -- be it candles, LED lights, or a Clark Griswold-esque display. Lights, Christmas or otherwise, all share the same basic characteristics.

A light, bright and twinkling, catches the eye; a light makes itself visible--but more than that: it makes other things visible. It is illuminating and reveals that which would otherwise be obscured by darkness. Have you ever realized that Jesus is often described in terms of light? Take a look at a few examples:

"The rising sun" - Luke 1:78
"The sun of righteousness" - Malachi 4:2
"The bright morning star" - Revelation 22:16
"The light of the world" - John 8:12
"A great light" - Isaiah 9:2
"A light of revelation" - Luke 2:32

That first reference -- "the rising sun" -- caught my attention as I was reading through the gospel of Luke which begins with a story of another miraculous birth of a baby boy -- he who would grow up to be known as John the Baptist. His parents, Elizabeth and Zechariah, were old and beyond childbearing years. They had had no children. When an angel appeared to Zechariah telling him that he would have a son, he did not believe it, and so God made him unable to speak until after the child was born. When at last he was able to speak again, he immediately praised God and began to prophesy with these words -- about not just his son, but the one for whom his son would make a way:

“Praise be to the Lord, the God of Israel,

because he has come to his people and redeemed them.
He has raised up a horn of salvation for us
in the house of his servant David
(as he said through his holy prophets of long ago),
salvation from our enemies
and from the hand of all who hate us—
to show mercy to our ancestors
and to remember his holy covenant,
the oath he swore to our father Abraham:
to rescue us from the hand of our enemies,
and to enable us to serve him without fear
in holiness and righteousness before him all our days.
And you, my child, will be called a prophet of the Most High;
for you will go on before the Lord to prepare the way for him,
to give his people the knowledge of salvation
through the forgiveness of their sins,
because of the tender mercy of our God,
by which the rising sun will come to us from heaven

to shine on those living in darkness

and in the shadow of death,

to guide our feet into the path of peace.”

- Luke 1:68-79 (emphasis added)

That last part was what stuck out the most to me. I love sunrises -- on the few occasions I'm up early enough to see them. One of the things that has been great about our mild December this year is that we've also had less cloud coverage. That means I've actually gotten to see some beautiful sunrises on my way into work that would normally be covered up by overcast skies. To me, the rising sun signifies hope, bringing to light a brand new day. Jesus was the sunrise that brought to fulfillment the ultimate hope, ushering in a new era. He is a light to the world that shines in the darkness, illuminating the earth and revealing to all God's plan of salvation. Jesus came to guide our steps and show us how to live our lives. Whether it's the sunrise, the moon, the morning stars, candles or Christmas lights, I want to let each light be a reminder of "THE Christmas Light" -- Jesus, the hope that he brings and the truth that he brought to light by his life.

Christmas lights and decorations and food and family gatherings are wonderful. But what I love most about Christmas is that it's something to celebrate everyday, all year long: the gift of Jesus, the Christ. At Christmas, we celebrate hope and joy and peace -- because Jesus was the hope of nations--the long awaited Messiah, we find the greatest joy in the life and salvation that he brought, and we have peace with God through Jesus and have also been taught how to live at peace with one another. I don't know about you, but those seem to me like some pretty good things to celebrate this Christmas season and always!

31! Starting to look my age?

Last year I did a blog post for my 30th birthday with 30 life lessons that I'd learned through life thus far. This year, for 31, I wanted to share a collection of wise sayings, or proverbs, that I've been studying. Proverbs are like little nuggets of wisdom, and I think committing them to memory can help you to stay on course and make the right decisions in the heat of the moment or in a season of trial. Proverbs, the book in the Bible, has 31 chapters so I thought it would be perfect to pick one proverb from each chapter. However, I found a number of my favorites congregated in a few chapters. So, instead, I will share 31 proverbs that I've been focusing on and that I want to have ingrained into my way of living.

1. Such are the paths of all who go after ill-gotten gain; it takes away the life of those who get it. (Proverbs 1:19)

2. For the waywardness of the simple will kill them, and the complacency of fools will destroy them. (Proverbs 1:32)

3. Have no fear of sudden disaster or of the ruin that overtakes the wicked, for the LORD will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being snared. (Proverbs 3:26)

4. Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to act. (Proverbs 3:27)

5. Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. (Proverbs 4:23)

6. Instruct a wise man and he will be wiser still; teach a righteous man and he will add to his learning. (Proverbs 9:9)

7. When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise. (Proverbs 10:19)

8. A kindhearted woman gains respect, but ruthless men gain only wealth. (Proverbs 11:16)

9. A generous man will prosper; he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed. (Proverbs 11:25)

10. A wife of noble character is her husband's crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones. (Proverbs 12:4)

11. A righteous man cares for the needs of his animal, but the kindest acts of the wicked are cruel. (Proverbs 12:10)

12. A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult. (Proverbs 12:16)

13. Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. (Proverbs 12:18)

14. A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones. (Proverbs 14:30)

15. A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. (Proverbs 15:1)

16. Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed. (Proverbs 15:22)

17. There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death. (Proverbs 16:25)

18. The crucible for silver and the furnace for gold, but the LORD tests the heart. (Proverbs 17:3)

19. Fools find no pleasure in understanding but delight in airing their own opinions. (Proverbs 18:2)

20. To answer before listening -- that is folly and shame. (Proverbs 18:13)

21. The heart of the discerning acquires knowledge; the ears of the wise seek it out. (Proverbs 18:15)

22. The first to present his case seems right, till another comes forth to question him. (Proverbs 18:17)

23. It is not good to have zeal without knowledge, nor to be hasty and miss the way. (Proverbs 19:2)

24. The purposes of a man's heart are deep waters, but a man of understanding draws them out. (Proverbs 20:5)

25. It is the glory of God to conceal a matter; to search out a matter is the glory of kings. (Proverbs 25:2)

26. As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. (Proverbs 27:17)

27. As water reflects the face, so one’s life reflects the heart. (Proverbs 27:19)

28. The rich are wise in their own eyes; one who is poor and discerning sees how deluded they are. (Proverbs 28:11)

29. Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy. (Proverbs 28:13)

30. Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is kept safe. (Proverbs 29:25)

31. Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. (Proverbs 31:8)

There you have it. 31 wise sayings to live by, and I'm hoping I can learn to employ these at little better each year of my life. How about you? Do you have a favorite wise saying or one that you have committed to memory? Please share in the comments!

A while back I posted about trying to memorize the book of James from the Bible. I’m still chugging along, with several others, but I must say that getting through chapter 2 was much more difficult than chapter 1, for whatever reason. You can view my post of James 1 in Photos here. As we closed out chapter 2, I wanted to take some time to focus on the second section of the chapter which is centered on the role of faith and deeds in the life of a Christian.

James starts off with a few challenging questions:
"What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them?" --James 2:14

Scripture is clear that a follower of Christ must possess both faith and good actions – or “fruit” – which is the outward evidence of one’s faith. In his letter to the Ephesians, Paul focuses on the fact that salvation cannot be earned – however, he also tells us that we were made to do good works:

“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” – Ephesians 2:8-10

In James’ letter, he writes to a different group of Christians who needed a reminder that genuine faith is proved by its action – the two must go hand in hand. Here’s what Matthew Henry says in his Bible commentary about this section of James:

“James had to do with those who cried up faith, but would not allow works to be used even as evidence; they depended upon a bare profession, as sufficient to justify them; and with these he might well urge the necessity and vast importance of good works. As we must not break one table of the law, by dashing it against the other, so neither must we break in pieces the law and the gospel, by making them clash with one another: those who cry up the gospel so as to set aside the law, and those who cry up the law so as to set aside the gospel, are both in the wrong; for we must take our work before us; there must be both faith in Jesus Christ and good works the fruit of faith.”

For whatever reason, many of us tend to operate toward one end of the faith-deeds spectrum – emphasizing one over the other rather than living them both out to their true meaning. C.S. Lewis discusses the two extremes in his book Mere Christianity:

There are two parodies of the truth which different sets of Christians have, in the past, been accused by other Christians of believing: perhaps they may make the truth clearer. One set were accused of saying, "Good actions are all that matters. The best good action is charity. The best kind of charity is giving money. The best thing to give money to is the Church. So hand us over ₤10,000 and we will see you through." The answer to that nonsense, of course, would be that good actions done for that motive, done with the idea that Heaven can be bought, would not be good actions at all, but only commercial speculations. The other set were accused of saying, "Faith is all that matters. Consequently, if you have faith, it doesn't matter what you do. Sin away, my lad, and have a good time and Christ will see that it makes no difference in the end." The answers to that nonsense is that, if what you call your "faith" in Christ does not involve taking the slightest notice of what he says, then it is not Faith at all — not faith or trust in Him, but only intellectual acceptance of some theory of Him.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer also has a section of his book The Cost of Discipleship that talks similarly about the relationship between belief [faith] and obedience [deeds], which I found to be powerful in its frankness:

“The truth is that so long as we hold both sides of the proposition together they contain nothing inconsistent with right belief, but as soon as one is divorced from the other, it is bound to prove a stumbling block. "Only those who believe obey"…and "only those who obey believe"…If the first half of the proposition stands alone, the believer is exposed to the danger of cheap grace, which is another word for damnation. If the second half stands alone, the believer is exposed to the danger of salvation through works, which is also another word for damnation.”

When we try to become “righteous” by doing good things, we end up putting our faith in our own efforts rather than in God.

On the other hand, any time we try to live a life of faith that does not bear “fruit” or does not involve being obedient to God’s word, our faith is proved disingenuous.

James says it this way:
“But someone will say, ‘You have faith; I have deeds.’ Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by my deeds. You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that—and shudder.” –James 2:18-19

Whoa. Did you catch that? Simply believing in God only gets you on the same level as demons. A genuine FAITH involves something more. Of course the demons know that God exists; what they are lacking is obedience to God.

James writes about the example of Abraham – the “father of faith” – whose willingness to obey God without question was evidence of his faith. “You see that his faith and his actions were working together, and his faith was made complete by what he did (James 2:22)." The answer to James’ original question – “can such a faith save them?” is “no” – because what they claim as “faith” is not truly faith.

So where does all of this intersect with my life? I think I tend to oscillate between both ends of the faith-deeds spectrum: some days putting my faith in my own ability, and other days resting in a very apathetic “faith”. Lately, however, I feel God trying to nudge me toward stronger obedience to His word. I keep trying to put my own priorities first, instead of letting God direct my steps. God has also made me more aware of the need to “bear fruit” (See also: The Fruit of the Spirit series) and live out the faith I claim to have. Which brings me to the question: what does faith look like? It looks like being loving and kind to others; it looks like being patient in times of trial; it looks like joy in the midst of adversity and peace when your life is in turmoil; it looks like goodness and gentleness in word and deed. In short: faith looks like obedience.

At the end of the chapter, James draws this conclusion: “As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead (James 2:26).” My desire and my aim is to have a faith that is alive and growing!

And...for your viewing and listening pleasure: