Wedding Day: June 16, 2007

Today marks our 9th wedding anniversary! I can hardly believe it. Time seemed to drag on forever when we were dating, but these nine years have flown by. Though not without its share of challenges, Tom and I have had an amazing 9 years, and I look forward to one full decade of marriage next June!

"A wife of noble character is her husband's crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones. (Proverbs 12:4)"

As I work through my 31 proverbs, I thought this would be a great one to focus on in light of our anniversary. The marriage relationship is a unique one, as we are so deeply responsible to one another. My actions affect Tom -- down to the bone! I have power to lift him up and bring him honor and power to drag him low and into disgrace.


Let's reverse this proverb and start with the second half -- a disgraceful wife is decay to her husband. She is death and disease to his very being. Matthew Henry says this in his commentary:

"He that is plagued with a bad wife is as miserable as if he were upon the dunghill; for she is no better than rottenness in his bones, an incurable disease, besides that she makes him ashamed. She that is silly and slothful, wasteful and wanton, passionate and ill-tongued, ruins both the credit and comfort of her husband."

Wow.  That's pretty intense. While I'd like to think I've never made Tom feel like he were upon a dunghill, I'm sure I've made him feel like crap more than once in the past nine years. Why is it that it is often the ones we love the most that we take the most for granted? Just because someone has promised to love us no matter what, doesn't give us the right to take that promise for granted -- and that's exactly what we do when we speak or act in a way that dishonors or hurts them. Hurts may be forgiven, but they cannot be undone. My careless words, selfishness, laziness and bitterness have caused damage and decay -- to both me and Tom -- and to our marriage.

All the more reason to focus on the good and be cognizant of both my attitude and my actions. God, give me grace that I may in turn give grace to others -- starting in my marriage. My desire is to be my husband's crown. To make him feel like a king. To be honorable and virtuous. To ornament his life and make it more beautiful.